Most amazing things about Africa
It’s hard to come up with one thing that describes my favorite thing about Africa because so much of what I do is intertwined with everything else… but if I had to come up with something, I think it would be my host family. They have been amazing. More than I ever could’ve asked for. Yes, for the first month it was a bit hard because I had /nothing/ to do. Now, however, it’s amazing. They’re always excited to see me, always wanting to hear stories, and they’re quite welcoming of me into the family. I feel like I’m at home. I definitely feel like less of a guest, which I really like. I’ve learned a lot about Wolof from them, a lot about Islam from them, a lot about the interconnectedness of the Senegalese family structure, and so much more. Really. Aida took a bit to warm up, but I think it’s good that she knows that I’m not her competition. We have so little in common that we wouldn’t be in competition. Babacar, I still haven’t really had a chance to get to know him very well. He’s /always/ at school or studying or sleeping. Serigne is great. He’s always smiling and he’s got this huge smile. Mamy and Fabinetou make fun of him saying that he has a kilo of lips. He’s a good guy, really smart, too. He wants to come to America eventually… and we have our own handshake: the Shake Rabbit. Every time I see him, that’s what we do. Mamy. I can’t really even say much about Mamy. She’s the one in the house that I have the strongest connection to. We have a lot of fun together, laughing and being ridiculous. Fabinetou, the baby, is really interesting because she’s this weird hybrid of maturity and complete immaturity which is what I love about kids her age (she just turned 15). She just makes me smile… her and her bathie. It took awhile to get warmed up to all of them, but now they’re completely an unforgettable part of my experience here.

Another thing that I’ve really enjoyed has been my internship. Claire-Enfance is an amazing program with some amazing staff members. And they work with some amazing kids.

I wrote the previous paragraph after just having started my internship. "Really enjoyed" would be the understatement of the century. Through my internship, I have been opened up to a completely different experience here, yet something so much the same and so ordinary that it's amazing. I have a new family. Another family that loves me and treats me like part of the family. And that's incredible. I've had the most amazing opportunities at work, too. Being able to go to those workshops that we run is an amazing opportunity. Working with the serignes and the other ONG leaders was amazing, really an eye-opener into seeing the process. It also makes me realize that it's something that I might potentially want to do. Amazing.

In Africa, I love the spirit of solidarity, the collectivistic mindset. It’s so completely different from what I’m used to. I’m completely at home in a few different locations around the city, and these are people that I’ve known for less than 2 months. Also just knowing that people aren’t going to judge me, that I can have amazing /arguments/ with people and it’s not going to negatively affect our relationship. Au contraire. Everyone here is so interdependent that you just kind of have to get along with almost everyone. You don’t really have a choice. And usually that’s made for fun times.

Most stressful and frustrating things about Africa
I think the most frustrating thing here has been how hard it is to make Senegalese /friends/. There have been very /very/ few men that I’ve met who haven’t professed their undying love for me by the second time we’d met. And as for the women, they usually see Occidental women as a threat or something, so they tend to be relatively cold to us. We’re competition. And that’s hard. It’s gotten better, but it’s still hard. Quite hard. In the end, my only female friends are Fama and Lala. And my family members. But that's it, really. And that's too bad.

School was frustrating at the beginning, and I’m sure it will be hard at the end again, but for the mean time, in the middle, it’s not stressful at all because I’m not letting it be stressful. It’s completely /not/ the education that I wanted to get when I was here… just a different one. Probably a better one, but I’m still quite excited to get back into the real classroom when I get back to America.

In the end, school was frustrating as well. I had my final exam scheduled with Laleye, my sociology of religion professor, and he didn't show up. That was on a Friday. He needed to leave for Canada the following day, and he'd be returning the 9th, the day that I would be returning home. So, missed out on that one. My globalization prof was on strike the three weeks previous to class ending. I finally did end up getting the articles that I needed to read, but on 5 days before I was to leave. So here I am , home in America, without having done /any/ work for either of my classes. Frustrating as hell.

I was just going to write that the timing of things is hard, but it’s not that hard because I’m allowed to be late, too. It’s not just the Africans that can be late… I can be late, too, and no one thinks I’m being an odd American or anything. I like it, actually. If ever I see someone and want to stop and chat for a second, it’s fine. I can take my time because relationships are so important. And I like that. It is frustrating, however, when you're in a car "rapide" that isn't moving very fast… because it's not very "rapide" and you just want to be somewhere!! And tea that takes at least an hour and a half. Never a quick affair . And all that is great when you don't have anywhere else to be or anything else to be doing.

What I’ve learned from being here
One of the other things that I’ve appreciated really a lot since I’ve been here is the way that they’re always quite frank with each other. You, for the most part, know exactly where you stand with other people. They let you know. There’s no trying to fool other people. There’s no “Minnesota nice”. There aren’t really pleasantries. Along with that, though, comes the necessity to be blunt as well. So, when men profess their enduring love, I have to be completely blunt with them. American woman’s statement: I think we should just be friends. Hypothetical American male internal monologue: Oooh. Ouch. Guess I’ll never talk to her again. Hypothetical Senegalese male internal monologue: YES. SHE WANTS TO BE MY FRIEND. That’s /almost/ love. American woman’s statement #2: I don’t love you and I never will love you. HAMIM Whoa. That was quite uncalled for. What a bitch. HSMIM: Hmmm. Maybe this isn’t going to work out. I probably just need to try harder.

This honesty, though sometimes I feel like it might be a bit exaggerated, could hopefully be translated into a more culturally appropriate honesty in America. I like it. I’ve learned that people really appreciate honesty and that it’s the one way that I can really show people that I truly respect and appreciate them. Which I like, too.

I’ve learned, too, that I /am/ inherently interesting. This place is really good for one’s self-esteem. Here, I’m something completely out of the ordinary. I’m a "gazelle". Haha. And hopefully some of the self-confidence will be able to come back with me to America.

Some of my most memorable moments
One day my Wolof professor was talking about something and he said, "Well, everyone says it: the Christians, the Muslims… the Japanese…"

"Spent the evening with the Ndiaye family. Got a lot of cute pictures with the boys. Cute as all get out. And then lamine knew that I was really distant, so the sweetie he is, he took me for a tour with him when he was getting his café touba. I was saying how I really don't want to go home. "That's what this is all about? Just that? Oh, but it's not a big deal. Because you'll be back. And it will be even better next time." Right, but I don't want this to end. "Right, but c'est la vie." And that was quite striking because I really do feel like my relationships with people here aren't really going to change when I leave. I think I'm a part of the family forever." 30 mai 08

Fun wolof phrases I've used lately. I like whipping these out. Shocks people.
"Dangay doule rekk." Bullshit. It's just as strong. I said it to someone I didn't really even know, and seeing the expression on his face was amazing.
"Menuma ko sama bopp." Yes, because I can't do this myself. Bouba started washing my hand after we ate. Haha.
"Yeena ngiy sacc?" You're stealing? To Bouba and Goudiaby when they were taking food out of Bouba's kitchen. Genious.

I talked to Pape to make sure I would be able to come back in December and January for awhile. "Pas de problème. Tu es d'ici maintenant. Si tu veux trouver une maison ou un mari, on peut t'aider avec ça. Tu veux Bouba ou Goudiaby? Oui, c'est vrai. Goudiaby, c'est un bandit. Mais Bouba… t'es prête?" "Haha, pas encore." "Okay, c'est pas grave. On peut regler tout ça en Décembre." So, then on Friday, I came into the room with a few tears in my eyes to say goodbye. Pape asked, "Tu pleures?" No… and then the flood gates opened; He was trying to reassure me, saying, "Mais ce n'est rien. Tu vas revenir. Ce n'est rien." "Tout le monde essaie de me dire que ce n'est rien, mais – " "En fait, c'est quelque chose." I think he really got to see how much this has meant to me, and it's nice to know that he gets it. And that I'll always have a place here with his organization whenever I come back.

Had a really interesting long chat with Yakham about love, money, and the Senegalese woman. He was saying how love, real true love love, is a thing of the rich. I, as a person of privilege, can say yes or no to love or marriage based on my own volition, regardless of wheter or not my husband will have money. I'm able to say "cela m'est égal." As a poor Senegalese heart-broken man, he can't get back the woman he loves because he can't afford it. "If I had the money, I'd take her back no questions asked. And she wouldn't resist. Because I'd have money. Senegalese women have it rough; this I don't deny, but it was interesting to hear Yakham say that he prefers toubab women (systematically) over the other… because they're sincere, honest, confident, intelligent/ouverte and loyal. And because of her situation, the Senegalese woman can't really be all those things. It has nothing to do with the skin color, and very little to do with money, yet it has everything to do with money. Yakham wouldn't be with someone just for the financing, but he wants to be with someone who won't take his money into account – a privileged toubab. Had we had this discussion 2 months ago, I wouldn't have been okay with hardly anything he said, but after having been here for 4 months, after trying to get to know Senegalese women, I can definitely understand. They seem so high-maintenance. And of course it's because of their situation, and so while I can be understanding and active in my feminist views, I also feel like I can understand, appreciate, and to a certain extent, sympathize with them. At the end of the discussion, he said, "Stephanie, j'espère que tu trouves celui que tu cherches. Je te souhaite tellement d'amour." I wished him the same thing, and he said, "No, I don't want that>. Wish me money and success… because I already have a woman I love. Now I need money to get her back."

Right before I was going to leave, Bouba's mom started a prayer circle for my safe travels. This was something that really had an impact on me. Even though I'm not a believer in Islam, just knowing that she was doing what she could to keep me safe.

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This truly has been the experience of a lifetime, and I'm excited to head back in December to continue things over there. I miss everyone so much. Until next time, ladies and gents.